How? How do I deal with all of this? I have no idea.
There is so much going on in my life right now. Yet it feels like there isn’t enough. Already I’m feeling the draining effects of summer. Already, I’m stressed about next semester. Already, I’m stressed about the rest of my freaking life.
And I just don’t know. Maybe it’s the anxiety. Anxiety mixed with drama, loneliness, depression, more anxiety, and more loneliness. Maybe I need to go talk to a therapist, a physician, and a chiropractor.
With everything going on, my anxiety has changed shape again. The list of catalysts has gotten longer. Making it easier than ever to set off panic attacks riddled with tears, and sore lungs. Not sleeping enough has left me drained and craving caffeine. But coming down from the caffeine highs just makes the inevitable anxiety worse, and the attacks more sharp.
I don’t know how to deal with the feelings I’ve been having. I try to talk, but the people I talk to don’t really want to hear about it. My girl tries, but she grows impatient, just as I grow quite impatient with myself. So, I guess I’ll be here a lot more trying to work through things.
This blog, for the time being will probably be a little more personally focused, as it’s summer, and I’m still insanely stressed. But I would still really love to hear any comments, recommendations, etc. from all of you. Hopefully you aren’t as stressed as I have been, and summer is going well for you.
Much love– Jaile